A story about wizards and pirates and teleporting cuddle animals :D
by ZombieEggs
Summary: This is a crossover with Harry Potter, pirates of the Caribbean, Septimus Heap and Vampirates. We don't own the characters (ok, there are some characters we made ourselves), we just picked the ones we liked in the books/movies. We are not English, so if we've made some mistakes, blame our teachers! :D Have fun! This story is also copyrighted by ZombieEggs.
1. Singapore

**SINGAPORE**

There was hustle and bustle in the port of Singapore. Molucco Wrathe, captain of the ship 'The Diablo', tried to make his voice drown the commotion and calm the chaos on the deck down, but like always the swinging of his arms actually gave his crew much more stress.

'Hurry up you fried turds! More rum and more peanuts!'

'But captain, there is no more place left in the hold. Everything is full because of the – '

'No worries! Stuff it all in my hut!'

'But captain...'

'Don't argue, just stuff it in there. In cases of emergency we can hang those barrels with rum between the masts.'

The man obeyed him immediately, because he knew that the captain would rather leave als fast as possible. But when he came into the captain's hut he saw there was no more place left. Not even for a case with peanuts. He hesitated and looked questioning at the capitain.

'What are you looking at? I said, hang them between the masts! Hurry up!'

The man hesitated for a second, but then he began to collect all the left goods in fishnets which were finally hung up between the masts. The result looked more like a bird's nest than a ship. The captain looked at the dangerously creaking masts because of the swinging fishnets with a proud smile on his face.

'Ok, time to go.' he said and he tapped his deputy, Cutlass Cate, on her shoulder. Cate looked worried at the construction of ropes and fishnets, but it seemed not to mind the captain.

'Captain, aren't you a bit worried about this... creation.' she said while she pointed at the mess above her. 'We are going to sail in the open seas, it wouldn't surprise me if the ship keels over right after we left the port.'

'Oh, just go and swap the deck.' he answered with an annoyed look.

Cate looked offended at him. 'You are sailing towards your grave...'

'I said, go and swap the deck.'

'Hell no, I've got something better to do than that!' said Cate, but when the captain looked at her in an agry way, she went annoyed away to get the swab.

A deputy who has to swap the deck, that was what you can call an offence, she thought. And on further concideration she thought it wasn't fair at all.

'What are you looking at?' she asked angry at a crewmember. 'Don't stay and stand there, and make yourself helpful.' she pushed the swab against the chest of the man, who looked up anxiously and got immediately to work.

Now, that was a good action, Cate thought. What was the captain thinking that he gave her such task. Quickly she began to order the people around her to lead the ship as safe as unsafe could be out of the port. But it didn't last long before she heard the a bit gruffy voice of the captain screaming in her ear.

'And what do you think you're doing, Cutlass Cate?'

'Oh, hello captain.' she said without looking at him. 'Hey, you there!' she ordered someone else. 'Make those knots a bit sturdier, this mess will to break down in ten minutes!'

'CATHERINE!' screamed the captain this time furious.

Cate covered her ears and turned angrily around. Nobody called her by her full name, not even the captain.

'Didn't I gave you an order, Cate?'

'Yes, you did indeed, but the current situation can't stand without support of my orders.'

'What?! I am the captain here, I decide who what does, and when I order the deputy to do something than she will obey ME, is that understood?!'

'Yes captain.' Cate sighted.

'Now, where is that swab?'

'There.' Cate pointed at a man who was talking with someone.

'Hey,' Molucco screamed in his direction. The man looked up and immediately began to work.

'Look,' said the captain 'That man is what I call obey. It's never too late to learn, Cate.'

Cate clenched her fists of anger. She hated it when someone put her down that way.

'Hey mate, come over here if you please!' screamed the captiain at the man.

The man made way through the crowd. When he was as near that his face became visible, the captain furrowed his brows.

'Do I know you?' he asked, and he looked as if he tried to remember a passenger on the street.

The man looked below. 'No, sir.' he answered guilty.

'Tell me, what are you doing on MY ship?!' The captain's brows now furrowed in an angry way. 'Do you think I like to make pleasure-trips for everybody who likes to come aboard or so?!'

'No, sir.'

'Is that everything you can say?'

'No, sir.'

'Men like you aren't useful on my ship.' he said. ' You are lucky I'm in a good mood, but if I weren't... Coxswain, turn around! We are going back, we have a stowaway over here!'

'No!' warned Cate, who knew what was going to happen if he did. 'The ship, it's going to keel over!'

'Dear, don't worry about – ' began the captain, but he hadn't finished his sentence or the masts began to creak even more dangerously and the ship slant to one side.

'Coxswain! Make way! Quickly, out of the port! If we crash here they'll find out that I've got some debts.' the captain panicked. 'You men, bring down those fishnets like you're paid fore it!'

Cate took a deep breath. She began to get used to these days.


	2. Stowaways

**STOWAWAYS**

A bit later than planned, the Diablo left the port behind him and sailed the sea. The goods from the fishnets had this time been attached to the sides of the ship. Something that seemed a good solution to Molucco Wrathe.

'Why do you always have to buy that much?' asked Cate irritated. 'Don't you ever learn from your mistakes?'

'Just shut your crap Cate, this is nothing. And if you don't mind, I am not in a mood for talkee-talkee. Where is that stowaway now?' and he walked away.

Cate looked flabbergasted at him. 'Talkee-talkee?'

'Ah, there you are young man.' the captain said when he'd finally found the stowaway. 'I want to talk with you for a moment.'

The man nodded and followed him to the captain's hut.

'O.' said the captain when he discovered that there was no more place in his room.

In front of them rised an enourmous wall of barrels with rum, cases with peanuts, golden statues, saphires, and lots and lots of stuff more.

The captain rummaged around in the mess and finally found two goblets with saphires on the edges. He took his rapier from the belt on his waist and slammed a hole in one of the rum barrels. Then he added the rum, which came out of the barrel in torrents, into the goblets and gave one to the man.

'Come, let's sit outside, like there is no more place left here.' he said and he winked at the man to accompany him.

The man waited till the captain began to speak.

'So, what are you doing on my ship?' It seemed more like he was talking to his rum than to the man, because the captain was looking severely in his goblet. Actually he saw a speck of dust floating in it, and he didn't like that, but the man didn't know.

'Ehh..' he began, not sure if te captain was really talking to him.

The captain now put his finger in the rum and removed something that seemed to be found more disgusting than his own fingernail.

'I asked you something!' he said to his finger.

'We... ehh... searched for somewhere to sleep.' said the man hesitating.

'So, you thought you were welcome on my ship?' the captain, still concentrated on his finger, shook his hand above the sea with a look of horror on his face.

'We first wanted to ask it politely, but then that woman pushed a swab against me.'

'Ah, I understand.' said the captain, now at the man. 'I would also lose my politeness with such welcome...'

'Ehh...'

'Look mate, I understand your situation, but it doesn't work like that. I have food for a certain number of people. I wonder if we have enough for an extra crewmember.' he said seriously.

The man looked behind him at the fishnets on the side of the ship. He wondered what was in there.

'I'm sorry sir, it wasn't our intention to be any trouble to you.'

'Did you just say 'our' intention?'

'Yes sir, Mei Long and I – '

'You mean there are two of you?'

'Ehh... yes, sir.'

'What?! Why didn't you tell me that immediately?' said the captain shocked. 'Oh no, my poor rum. I don't even have enough for this admount of crewmembers...' he complained.

He slugged his rum down in one gulp.

'I don't drink rum.' the man said.

'You don't drink... rum? That is... What about your mate?' he interrupted himself.

'No. Not at all. I think Mei Long has never even seen it before.'

The captain looked at him as if he was a rare sort of monkey in the zoo.

'In that case... You are both allowed to stay on my ship.' he said. 'But only if you help along and stay under my command. And Cate's. If you don't, well, than I am happy to drop you at the next lonely island we pass. As a pirate captain I have to be severe at my crew.' he said.

'Pirate captain?'

'Yes. This is a pirate ship mate. Didn't you notice?'

'No, not really.'

'Bloody Hell, ever seen a party boat with the name Diablo on it? Diablo, also known as the Devil? Look at our flag, mate. That skull doesn't look very friendly, don't you think?' he explained.

'O.' said the man, who knew absolutely nothing about this all.

'Yes, say that again. Seriously... But would you please get your mate for me? I have to tell you the rules and guidelines and I don't like to tell the same story twice.' the captain said. 'Oh and eh, give me your rum. I don't think you're going to drink that, aye?'


	3. Women

**Women...**

'What?! It's a girl? Mei Long is a GIRL?' screamed the captain. He looked at her as if she was a rubbish bin with maggots in it.

'Is that a problem?' the man asked hesitating.

'A problem? A PROBLEM?! It's a DISASTER!' he screamed at Mei Long as if it was her fault that she was a girl.

'Can I ask you why?' the man was now offended. That was not the way to talk to someone.

'I don't want women on MY ship! Oh no, this journey is going to be a failure...'

'It already was.' said Bart, who had come to take a look what happened.

'Captain Wrathe!' screamed the voice of the deputy.

'Cate!' said the captain relieved. 'I need your help. What do I have to do with this miniature woman on my ship?'

'Captain, please, look at me!' she said. 'Your own deputy is a woman! And look here behind you!' she pointed at a group of crew members, all women. 'Your crew consists for a part of women.'

'Oh, right...' he stuttered.

'I'm sorry.' said Cate to the girl, who had a shocked expression on her face. 'I'm afraid he has had too much rum today.'

'Captain, please go sit somewhere and rest for a while.' she said to the confused captain.

The captain stumbled to one of the masts and plumbed down. 'Cate, dear, get some bottles of rum and drink with me.'

'No more rum for you!' she said severe. 'In Singapore you were drunk as hell all day long. I wouldn't be surprised if you have more rum in your veins than blood.

'Come on Cate... don't be so sssstupid.' he babbled.

Cate sighted. Just to be sure she locked his hut, in case he would plan a tip to his rum stock.

'Sorry again.' said Cate to the stowaways. 'When we are in Singapore he is always like this. What are your names again?'

'I'm Charl, and that's Mei Long.' said the man.

'Pleased to meet you. I'm Cate, the deputy and the strategist for our battles. Come along, then I'll show you the ship.'

After Cate showed them their huts and gave them each a hang mock to sleep, they went to the cannons. A man with a happy smile on his face waited for them.

'Hey Cate!' he said.

'O, hello Bart.' she answered bored. 'Don't stand in the way, I'm showing around the newcomers.'

'Yes, indeed you may not forget this place. Very interesting!' he smiled.

Cate gave him a strange look and turned to Charl and Mei Long.

'Right. These are the cannons – ' But Bart interrupted her before she could finish her sentence.

'They can blow very big holes into ships. And heads... Cate, do you remember that time when–'

'Bartholomeus, I said don't stand in the way! And with that I also mean 'be quiet'!' she spoke with a lisp. 'By the way, don't you have to clean the cannons?'

'Yes, of course.' Bart immediately continued his work, but after a minute he stopped to listen to Cate.

'So that's it about the cannons than, I think. There is not much interesting about them on a normal day, but in battles they have a great function.'

'But on normal days when you have nothing to do, it's well worth the effort to come lower deck sometimes. Because here are lonely cruemembers who are in need of social contacts.' he said and his gaze rested on Cate.

Mei Long laughed but Cate took the remark seriously. 'Oh, in that case Charl can accompany you with your task from now on. Now that problem is solved...'

'Oh no, you don't really need to do that.' said Bart ashamed. 'I was just...'

'Bart, don't be so shy. I thought you made a good remark for a change. Charl, what do you think about becoming colleagues with Bart?'

Bart signed intensely 'no' behind her hesitated because he found it unpolite to say 'no' to the deputy.

'Ok, so that's managed.' smiled Cate who turned the situation to a good account. 'Come on, you'll need a weapon to defend yourselves.'

Charl and Mei Long followed Cate and left the disappointed Bart with the cannons.


End file.
